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How to Talk to People

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by Jim Manney


How to Talk to People

Advice from Ignatius, writing to Jesuits participating in the Council of Trent:

Be prudent. “When speaking in any conversation, do not think you are talking in private, but in public, so as to measure your words, and to say nothing you would not wish every one to know.”

Know your audience. “In the method of teaching Catechism to children suit yourselves to their age, so as sweetly to teach them the mysteries of our faith, and explain them according to the capacity and condition of your hearers.”

Be gentle. “Soften down the laws and prescriptions of the Exercises when needful, and especially for those who have to go through them in their entirety.”

Adjust your tone. “In discussions and arguments it is well to be brief; in order, however, to get men to follow virtue and to flee from vice, your speech should be long, and full of charity and kindness.”

Ignatius also told his men to take a break from the council every four days and visit the sick in public hospitals. “Try to console them and to assuage their sufferings, not merely by kind words, but with some little present, as far as you are able.”

Adaptability

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by Jim Manney


Adaptability

St. Ignatius, advising a young Jesuit about how to speak to others:

“In dealing with people of position or influence, if you are to win their affection for the greater glory of God our Lord, look first to their disposition and accommodate yourselves to them. If they are of a lively temper, quick and merry of speech, follow their lead in your dealings with them when you talk of good and holy things, and do not be too serious, glum, and reserved. If they are shy and retiring, slow to speak, serious and weighty in their talk, use the same manner with them, because such ways will be gratifying to them, “I have become all things to all people” (1 Corinthians 9:22).”

 

 

 

Not What You Expect

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by Jim Manney


What does God’s voice sound like? In my experience, like nothing I was expecting.

A while ago I was having some very bad days. I had too much work to do. My wife and I had a stack of unpaid bills. Problems kept cropping up and my solutions weren’t working. I felt helpless, and I hated feeling that way. I was angry, then depressed; boastful, then self-pitying. In the middle of all this mental turmoil came a quiet thought: “All will be well. Just do the next thing you have to do. All will be well.” I was surprised. My heart settled down. I did try to concentrate on the work at hand and put other worries out my mind. Things improved.

Another time I had to decide how to deal with someone who had crossed me up in a business deal. He hadn’t done what he said he would do, but he wouldn’t admit that. I felt wronged and said so. Harsh words were exchanged. I was furious. Then came a quiet thought: “Maybe you should apologize.” Ridiculous, I thought. He should apologize to me. But I thought about it some more and decided that maybe I should apologize. I may have been right about the business deal, but I had acted badly. So I did apologize for my part in the mess. The result was peace in my heart.

Both times the thought was quiet and simple. Both times the thought was virtually the opposite of what I had been thinking. The thought “all will be well” came at a time when nothing was going well and in fact seemed to be getting worse. The thought “maybe you should apologize” came when I listing all the reasons why the guy should apologize to me.

I think those thoughts were the voice of God. Where else could they have come from? Certainly not from me. And doing what the voice said had good results. Ever since, I pay special attention to quiet thoughts that are contrary to what I’m thinking at the time. That’s a sign that they might be from God.

 

This Addict Is a Saint

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by Jim Manney

A friend of mine recently sent me a unusual holy card. It honors St. Mark Ji Tianxiang, a Chinese layman who was murdered in 1900, along with dozens of other Catholics in his village, in the vicious persecution of Christians during the Boxer rebellion. That’s not the unusual thing. The Church has canonized many martyrs, including many Chinese martyrs. What’s unusual about St. Mark is that he was an opium addict who was barred from receiving the sacraments for the last 30 years of his life.

Mark couldn’t receive communion because his addiction was regarded as gravely sinful and scandalous. He prayed for deliverance from his addiction, but deliverance never came. Nevertheless he remained a believing Catholic. At his trial he was given a chance to renounce his faith, but he refused. It is said that he sang the litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary as he was led to his execution.

Saints are exemplary people. The Church creates them so we can learn from them. So what can we learn from St. Mark Ji Tianxiang?

For starters, he shows that anybody can become a saint—even a man who was kicked out of the church for giving public scandal. By canonizing him, the Church also signals a different attitude toward addiction than the one St. Mark’s pastors had a century ago. Drug abuse is sinful, but addiction is also a disease of the mind and body. Addicts today are not excluded from the sacraments because they are addicts.

I also marvel at St. Mark’s confidence in the mercy of God. He probably shared the village’s opinion of him—that he was serious sinner who was behaving terribly. He must have felt despair in his futile struggles and perhaps some bitterness too. But he persevered in his faith. I suspect that in his brokenness he met the suffering Christ. In the end, he went to his death confidently, trusting that love would receive him. May we all imitate St. Mark.

Prayer Exercise: Enjoying Jesus’ Presence

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by Jim Manney


The Discerning Heart

Remember a time when you saw Jesus with the inner eyes of your soul, when you experienced his presence in a vivid way, when he came alive for you in your prayer. Remember the inner details and outer circumstances of the experience. Savor the richness of the experience and relive it in your memory, feeling, imagination, heart, and mind. Be attentive to God’s presence.

What were the circumstances of the experience, that is, were you by yourself, on a retreat, at a liturgy?

How would you describe Jesus’ presence in the experience?

What were some of your feelings, thoughts, and desires?

What differences did you notice within yourself as a result of this experience?

Do you notice anything new happening in you now as you remember and relive the experience?

As you relive it, be attentive to God’s presence. Share with God any feelings that arise, and listen to God’s response. Ask God for the grace to notice Jesus more readily within yourself and within your life.

 

Margaret Conroy, RSM

The Discerning Heart

How I became a Jesuit

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by Australian Jesuits 

Alan Wong will be one of the guest speakers at an evening for young men interested in finding out more about Jesuit spirituality at Jesuit Theological College on 26 August. Clementine Binks, from Star of the Sea College, Melbourne, interviews Alan Wong on why he took the Jesuit path.

C: Firstly, how long exactly have you wanted to join the Jesuits?

A: How long have I wanted to be a Jesuit? That’s a good question: since after university. I think the desire or the dreams have manifested themselves occasionally throughout my life, but the deep sense of desire or urge was after university.

C: What did you study in university? Did that lead you to make this decision?

A: I studied engineering, and no, I don’t think the course itself led me to this sort of vocation or this path. I did the studies well, basically, to make money. That was the only goal that I had at that stage of my life.

C: Were there any particular events that you really feel inspired you?

A: The first event that I can recount was probably my schooling days at St Aloysius. I always thought that the Jesuits that taught me there, the Jesuit priests and brothers, were the sort of men that had the confidence that showed they knew what they wanted and how to go about it. So even though the vocation didn’t actually manifest during my my high school days, the essential groundwork, or the seed, was planted there.

But after university one tragic event happened that triggered this search for deeper meaning. My grandparents passed away and that in itself led me on a search for a lot of different things but eventually it led me on to search to be a priest and be a Jesuit.

C: Was there anything in particular about the Jesuits that drew you?

A: I went to a Franciscan parish, but I always thought that the priests were just one body so to speak. I didn’t know there were all these different orders. I always knew the Jesuits and I always admired them. There were only really the Jesuits.

C: Are there any goals you hope to achieve by becoming a Jesuit or is it about being on a journey?

A: I think its all linked – I can’t separate the goals from the journey aspect. There are goals and desires, I guess. One thing is the desire to work in China. That’s part of the vocation in a certain way. I think that desire within the vocation drives me and is a source of my vocation as well.

C: What kind of work would you like to do in China?

A: I don’t know. It’s just a very vague concept at the moment.

C: When you decided to take on this vocation, what were people’s reactions?

A: My family were ambivalent. They were supportive in that they wanted me to live my own life, but they were ambivalent in the sense that the path that I was taking to live this life wasn’t a culturally normal thing to do; it was very counter-cultural to live this life. My dad wasn’t totally shocked because over the year before I joined, and actually walked into the novitiate, I was speaking to him and he had inklings of that desire, but he was still ambivalent about the decision.

My friends were a little bit more in the ‘shocked’ category because it was never in their mind, so to speak, that someone would actually undertake this decision. Even though they are Catholic, very Catholic in their outlook and in their disposition, they were still shocked that someone would undertake this route because of the difficulties they perceived that lie ahead. My colleagues were just flabbergasted, really, because they didn’t really know what it meant to be a priest and a Jesuit and all these other things.

C: Do you think that’s because it’s not something that many young people would do nowadays?

A: It was more of a shock in the sense that they never knew that this path existed. It’s something that never really came across their minds, so maybe part of it is the scarcity of people who are joining the priesthood. I think it’s all connected. But also they were shocked because that among priests and the church itself, especially within religious life, there were so many scandalous stories that deterred them from that sort of role.

C: How exactly do you go about joining the Jesuits?

A: I guess, first, and I can only speak from my own experience, I found that there was some urge or desire to join the Jesuits. Then I found out through the Jesuit website that there was someone that I could speak to about this desire, usually the vocations director, and that they would allocate you someone, a spiritual director, that you can speak to about your desires, your dreams, your problems, your inner journey, the spiritual journey and then your outer journey.

So you can basically talk to him as a friend and he will be able to help you and guide you, and be like a God-tracker in your life, to help you discern if this is the right path for you. If it is, then after a process of time depending on the province you’re in, then you can formally apply to join the Jesuits.

Finding the Sacred in the Secular: Jesuit Spirituality and Vocation

Alan Wong will be one of the guest speakers at an evening for young men interested in finding out more about Jesuit spirituality at Jesuit Theological College on 26 August.

The evening, ‘Finding the Sacred in the Secular: Jesuit Spirituality and Vocation’, will be a chance to meet and hear from Jesuits about their ministry and calling, and to think more deeply about God’s calling.

Narratives: Francisco de Paula Oliva SJ, Asunción, Paraguay

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My life has been one continuous apprenticeship. And my best teachers have been the poor and the young people of Andalusia and Latin America, especially those of Paraguay.

Right now my apprenticeship is in Bañado Sur de Asunción, a neighbourhood with 16,000 inhabitants. Every ten years or so this zone is flooded to a depth of four metres, so that for more than nine months we have to live in wooden shacks strung along the city’s avenues. When the waters of the Paraguay River finally recede and people return to their homes, they have to start all over again from scratch.

The Bañado Sur district is the frontier between humanity and inhumanity. Some 90% of its people live in poverty, and more than half live in absolute misery. What is most lacking is work, and I don’t mean dignified work, just work. There is a garbage dump where men, women, and children spend their lives for the sake of earning two dollars a day. The heat and the humidity of the place are suffocating, and the people have to work completely covered with clothes. Other people push little carts around the city centre collecting plastic items; they spend more than two hours going and another two returning.

In Bañado Sur there are no sewers, and waste waters flow through the streets. Drugs are rampant and hold the young people of the neighbourhood in their grip. Many robberies are committed every day for the sake of getting a ration of marijuana or crack. To top things off, there is frequently no water or electricity in the area. And the malnutrition is alarming.

Nevertheless, despite all this, I consider Bañado Sur to be Paraguay’s moral reservoir. If in the midst of these conditions the people still show a great desire to live and are so outstanding in their hospitality and solidarity, then there is no person and no force that will ever take those values away from them. And all of this in the midst of great joy and peace.

What have I learned? Well, that my Faith is lived out in struggling with them and beside them – on the board of advisors for all the social organizations of Bañado Sur and as the priest for three of the area’s chapels. I join with the “Thousand in Solidarity” in providing assistance so that 500 youths aged 14 to 18 can earn a living by studying and then go on to the university.

But the most important thing I have learned is that at the age of 81, I can still have a youthful heart. This is the greatest treasure the young people and the poor have given me. Perhaps at last I am beginning to be a little like them.

Patrons and Companions

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by James Martin, S.J. 


Over the past few years, I have spent a good deal of time speaking to groups both large and small about the saints. After listening to the comments and questions of people in parishes, colleges and universities, retreat houses and conferences, as well as reading scores of letters, I have noticed two extremes in contemporary Catholic devotion to the saints, both of them perilous.

The two main ways of understanding the saints in the Catholic tradition are to see them as patrons and as companions. These two models are elucidated in most scholarly studies of the saints, among them Friends of God and Prophets by Elizabeth Johnson, C.S.J. They also find voice in the Preface of the Mass for Holy Men and Women, used on the feast days of the saints: “They inspire us by their heroic lives and help us by their constant prayers.”

The main challenge in fostering devotion to the saints lies in steering between the extremes surrounding those two models. On the one hand, there is in some quarters an exaggerated emphasis on the patron: the canonized saint in heaven who intercedes for us. In this understanding, the focus is on the one who prays for us in company with the risen Christ, the Blessed Mother and the communion of saints, after having led an earthly life beyond any critique; the patron never entertained an unorthodox thought, never suffered doubt for even a moment, never experienced conflict with the institutional church. Seen thus, saints are supposed to be acceptable in every way to people of every devotional type. Catholics who overemphasize this model are sometimes shocked to hear about the flaws of the saints, the areas where they did not follow the status quo and those times when they found themselves in conflict with church leaders.

On the other side are those who overemphasize the companion model: the earthy, sinful, struggling man or woman who shows us, through sometimes flawed actions, how holiness always makes its home in humanity. In this conception, the saint is someone who, once dead, serves no other role than that of model-as if their lives ended once they died. People in this camp often recoil from the parts of saints’ lives that include apparitions, visions or anything that remotely smacks of the supernatural. They are often aghast at talk of intercession, pilgrimages, novenas for the saint’s help and, of course, miracles.

A healthier (and more accurate) model is to see the saint as both patron and companion: the manifestly human being whose earthly life shows that being a saint means being who you are, but who now enjoys life in heaven and intercedes for us.

By way of illustration, let me share two stories from the two dangerous extremes.

Human Lives

A few years ago I wrote a brief article for the op-ed page of The New York Times that described the incredible life of Mother Theodore Guérin, the newest American saint. Mother Guérin was born in 1798 in France, entered religious life and eventually journeyed to Indiana. There this remarkably determined woman founded the Sisters of Providence of St. Mary-of-the-Woods and started a college and several schools in the region. One might think that such zeal would have won her favor from the local bishop.

It did not. The idea of a strong, independent woman deciding where and when to open schools apparently offended the bishop of Vincennes, Ind., a man whose name sounds like that of a villain in a Victorian-era potboiler: Celestine de la Hailandière. In 1844, when Mother Guérin was away from her convent raising money, the bishop, in a bid to eject her from the very order she founded, ordered her congregation to elect a new superior. Obediently, the sisters convened a meeting. There they re-elected Mother Guérin-unanimously. Infuriated, Bishop de la Hailandière informed the future saint that she was forbidden to set foot in her own convent, since he, the bishop, considered himself its sole proprietor.

Three years later, Bishop de la Hailandière demanded Mother Guérin’s resignation. When the exceedingly patient foundress refused, the bishop told her congregation that she was no longer its superior, that she was ordered to leave Indiana and that she was forbidden from communicating with her sisters. Her sisters replied that they were not willing to obey a dictator. At one point, the bishop locked Mother Guérin in his house until her sisters pleaded for her release. The situation worsened until, a few weeks later, Bishop de la Hailandière was replaced by the Vatican.

My op-ed noted that for a time the future saint, through no fault of her own, found herself in conflict with the church hierarchy. Within just a few days, I received a letter from a bishop with whom I am friendly. My article, he said, was damaging to the faithful. Was I saying that the only way to be a saint was to oppose the hierarchy? By no means, I replied. Rather, Mother Guérin’s struggles with her bishop were part of her spiritual journey, her very human life on earth.

Coincidentally, I had just returned from a pilgrimage to Lourdes, where I had spent time cheerfully chatting with this friendly bishop. I am surprised that this would come from someone who visits Lourdes, he said in his letter. In response, I pointed out that St. Bernadette Soubirous, the visionary of Lourdes, had herself been booted out of the town’s rectory by the local pastor, after she first reported her visions of Mary. Here was another instance of a future saint being, for a time, rejected by the church. (The story of Mary MacKillop, the new Australian saint who was for a time excommunicated, is another of many such examples.) Understanding the saints as bland figures whose lives were free of any conflict indicates an exaggeration of the patron model, where any “controversial” aspects of a saint’s life are seen as irrelevant, now that they are in heaven.

Some Catholics who gravitate toward this extreme are discouraged to hear that the saints sometimes sinned even after their conversions; that they did not follow the “expected” things that saints are supposed to do; or that they were, in a word, human. Once, during a parish talk, I quoted St. Thérèse of Lisieux on the rosary, as an example of how different were the saints. They were not cookie-cutter models of one another, nor were their spiritualities. “The recitation of the Rosary,” said the Little Flower, “is as difficult for me as wearing an instrument of penance.” The crowd-believe it or not-gasped audibly.

“Why did you say that?” said a Catholic sister afterward. “Because it’s true,” I said. “Well, you shouldn’t say such things,” she said.

One extreme to be avoided, then, is an excessive emphasis on a homogenized, noncontroversial blandness. For the one who prays for us in heaven also lived a human life.

Saints Alive

The other extreme is an overemphasis on the companion model, which stresses the saints’ humanity. More explicitly, it is an approach that shies away from what happens after the saint’s earthly death. A few years ago after another trip to Lourdes, I told a Catholic theologian about my visit there and about the pilgrims with whom I went.

“That’s dangerous,” he said.

“What is?” I asked.

“The notion that the saints pray for us, that miracles happen-like magic.”

But that is what we mean by “patron,” I responded, quoting the prayers of the Mass: “They help us with their constant prayers.” After all, I said, the law of prayer is the law of belief (Lex orandi, lex credendi). Besides, the records of miraculous cures are available in Lourdes for all to see, authenticated by physicians, many of them nonbelievers. And that is just for St. Bernadette. Read the canonization papers for any modern saint and you will be gobsmacked by the cures: immediate, irreversible, inexplicable. From the look on my friend’s face, however, you might have thought I was telling him that I believed in the Great Pumpkin.

But if God can create the universe and raise his Son from the dead, then miracles-miracles today, that is-seem easy in comparison. Regarding the question of why some prayers are answered and others are not: I have no idea. Why, if millions visit Lourdes annually, have only 67 miracles been authenticated? I have no clue. But that is no cop-out; it is on the same theological plane as the problem of evil: Why do some people suffer? I don’t know, but I do not need to understand God fully to believe in God fully or to love God fully. But those miracles, whether or not we understand why they happen, do happen.

When the doubtful or suspicious ask about intercession I often ask them this: If we ask for the prayers of friends on earth, why not from friends in heaven-unless we do not believe that they are with God, or that God somehow destroys their unique selves after their death, which I cannot believe. If our fellow sinful believers on earth pray for us, why wouldn’t the saints? Regarding intercession, it is also important to look at the sensus fidelium. Millions of Catholics pray to the saints for their help; they can recount personal stories of being helped in ways that go beyond credulousness, gullibility or stupidity. So I pray to the saints regularly. But I do not get overly upset when my prayers are not answered.

The dangerous thing is not so much “believing in miracles” or even “believing in intercession.” The dangerous thing is limiting God. In essence, it is saying, “God cannot possibly work like this.”

Both/And

When it comes to devotion to the saints one must hold in tension their dual roles as patron and companion. An overemphasis on one destroys the saint’s humanity, renders their earthly lives almost meaningless and negates their roles as models, examples and companions as Christian disciples. An overemphasis on the other makes their new lives in heaven meaningless, renders the tradition of intercession irrelevant and negates their current place in the communion of saints.

There is an obvious parallel to Christology. In classical Christian theology, Jesus Christ is understood as “fully human and fully divine.” An overemphasis on the divinity of Christ (for example, saying that Jesus could not suffer because he was God) is as unhelpful as is overemphasis on Jesus’ humanity (for example, denying his ability to perform miracles). Both need to be kept squarely before us as Christians, to be held in tension for us to begin to understand Jesus Christ. The same tension needs to be held when looking at the saints, balancing hagiography “from above” and “from below.”

So in my own work and life I am trying to restore a little balance. And I’m happy to do so with the help of the saints, my patrons and companions.


James Martin, S.J., is culture editor of America. This essay is adapted from an address given at the Catholic Theology Society of America meeting in San José, Calif., in June.

 

Losing One’s Life

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by Jim Manney 


Luis Espinal, SJ, is a Jesuit hero I hadn’t heard about. He was a Spanish Jesuit who worked for social justice in Bolivia. He was murdered in 1980. He wrote this.

Losing one’s life means working for others, even though they don’t pay us back. It means doing a favor without it being returned. Losing one’s life means jumping in even when failure is the likely outcome – and doing it without being overly prudent. It means burning bridges for the sake of our neighbor.

Losing one’s life should not be accompanied by pompous or dramatic gestures. Life is to be given simply, without fanfare – like a waterfall, like a mother nursing her child, like the humble sweat of the sower of seed.

Train us, Lord, and send us out to do the impossible, because behind the impossible is your grace and your presence; we cannot fall into the abyss.

Wisdom Story 19

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by Paul Brian Campbell, SJ  


Wisdom Story

One day I was walking through an open field and in the distance my eye caught sight of something in the pasture grass, some movements. As I approached nearer and nearer I noticed a great, big monarch butterfly fluttering its wings frantically. It was caught, but the sad and strange part about it was that its beauty — its wings — were holding it down, captive. Three long strands of grass loosely connected at the top enclosed it, but because the wings were so huge these three tee-pee forming blades of grass were enough to keep the butterfly from escaping into the open spaces and using its most beautiful attributes. If it would only calm down and slowly walk away from this very loosely knit cage it could fly away forever and be free.

 

Calm down, butterfly.

It is your beauty that is keeping you captive,

your beautiful large wings.

Calm down… and walk away… then fly, fly, fly…

 

– written on July 13,1986 by the late Ray Desgroseilliers, S.J.